Randomness (is that a word)

My girls at Gardner Village October 2009

So... I realized tonight that it has been well over a year since I have even come near my blog. I guess it isn't working quite as I thought that it would. Although if you read the first post you will see that I really didn't have a reason to create the blog. Well unless you count me being tired and not having anything better to do. (Mainly because sleeping was evading me.) Sleep still evades me and I wonder why I even take medication to help with Insomnia. It's obviously not working. But I digress...(or do I sense I named this Randomness?)

As an update it is now December of 2009 and we are almost to the end of birthday season. When I initially got pregnant with my first I remember thinking how great my due date was. February 2nd. It is still in winter (because summer is a horrible time to be hugely pregnant, as well as being a horrible season) and it is after Christmas. But then come to find out, my body apparently doesn't like the third trimester. It's either deliver the baby early or have a stroke. I choose to deliver the baby. I here I was thinking that I was going to have my baby come in February and now here she is on December 8th. 6 days after my husbands birthday. The same thing happened with the next two except now I know that they will come early. So in the end I planned on having one child born in February, and two born in January , but ended up having 2 in December and 1 in November. So now on Halloween (my birthday) we begin birthday season. My Baby Megan is November 16th (due January 1st), My husband on December 2nd, my oldest Elizabeth is December 8th (due February 2nd) then we wrap up birthday season with Grace (the middle one) on December 17 (due January 9th). Once all of that is done we can finally start wo worry about Christmas.

I am getting ready to have the big girls birthday party this saturday. Since their birthdays are 9 days apart they are forced (for now) to have a shared birthday party. I don't know if you can call this party a princess theme. But it's what I am calling it, even if there isn't much princess stuff involved. The organized former wanna be teacher in me thought that doing centers would be the best way to contain 10 little girls ranging from 4 - 8 yrs old in a small house. Their will be one center that will allow each girl to decorate her own cupcake. (yes I know it may be a disaster in the making.) Another center will be getting their nails done. The final one will have this game that I found where you get to try and shoot Gus-Gus into Cinderella's Coach. The girl who get's the most of her Gus-Guses into the carriage wins. Hopefully it will turn out OK.

While typing I realized that to me ths really isn't a blog in the typical sense. It almost seems more like a journal to me. Although thinking about it in that sense kinda makes me think, cause why on earth would I ever have a journal that was online. If we were to look back at the Journals that I kept back in high school, there is no way that I would want to have any of that information available to anyone. Which makes me wonder again where they are and if my husband has read them. I really hope not, cause the journal of a high school girl contains what you think it would contain. Every happy buzz that I had (mostly about boys), as well as the entries that tell about my saddest moments (mostly concerning boys once again). I started this blog thinking that I could get a good record of my husband and my story, but I think that I need to rethink this and consider this my story which includes him. Cause let's face it... he's never going to blog, I don't even think he knows that I have set this up.

I warned you that I was in a random thinking mode.

You know it's kinda funny looking back even as far as this small journal (it is no longer a blog to me) goes. Life goes on and you think that everything is changing so fast that you can't keep up, but then you realize that it all is pretty much the same. I still work in the same job that I was complaining about a year ago, I haven't gone anywhere and the stress is still just as high. I still can't sleep. I still lay awake at night wondering where my life is going and if I made the right choices. My husband drives me nuts, but I still love him more than anything. My kids are growing up everyday and I feel like I am missing everything. I still have all the same problems that I did when I originally started this. It seems like this year has been full of changes, but looking back, it hasn't changed at all.

Mike want me to come to bed, where I will attempt to sleep and most likely fail. So I am done rambling... I am not sure when I will return, but now that this is my journal I may think to come back more often.