I know that often when things are going bad in your life you often start to think about all of the what if's that you have in you life. It could be the What if I took that other job that I was offered instead of staying where I was comfortable. or during the worst moments, what if I had actually married my old boyfriend instead of the husband that I have been married to for 9 1/2 years. The What ifs always sound better than the current situation, but are they really? Why can't we be happy with the What did happen.
There are many moments in my life that I wish that I could go back in time and change, but if I did would I be where I am today. I would like to think that the mistakes that I made while I was younger have made me a better person today for them. Although life isn't perfect and I often start thinking about the what if's, but than I have to remember that if I hadn't taken the What Did path I wouldn't have three beautiful girls who are the light of my life and I wouldn't have a husband that I love more than life itself.
This has been my main train of thought today for some reason and of course, it's almost 2am and I can't sleep so I am writing. But I think that the world overall would be a happier place if we all started to be more thankful for what we have and stop thinking about what we could've had. Because if we really think about it, would that other job make you any happier, or would it create less stress in your life? If I had chosen to marry an old boyfriend would life be simpler? No matter what choices we have made, they are the right ones for us. Even if things don't work out, I think that everything happens for a reason. I was supposed to be here now. Before I was even born I believe that I made the choices that I wanted for my life. Knowing that there would be hard times and happy times, and that I would need to take the bad to be able to get to the good parts.
Just like in a book, if you skip over the boring parts, sometimes you miss much of the information to understand the ending. I'm not sure where my ending is, but I do know that I am going to start being happy with all of the What Did's in my life instead of pondering on the What if's. I think that just doing that will make my life simpler.
I think having time without my kids and without my husband has made me realize how lucky I really am. Because honestly where would I be without them. They are the light of my life and they make my life worth loving during the tough times.
Once again I apologize for not making much sense during my late night/early morning rantings.
